Hey Loviies!! How are you? It’s been a while .. yes I know but I am well … as good as I can be considering May was a hell of a month for me. I literally had my best day ever just to have it followed by the worse day ever. Crazy right … Yes, I know … I write this blog in memory of a dear friend, Charles Roberts (Oct.1986 - May 2018) known to me as Chuckie ChuChu (ChewChew) who passed away in late May but first let’s talk about my best day of 2018!
I am so excited to tell you about The Fluffy Girl Tribe’s first event where I had the pleasure of being a panelist. I met the fluffies a little while ago and if you remember, the ladies participated in My Closet Sale event last November. So when I was asked to sit on the panel I was elated to say the least! I would have the opportunity to sit among some of my favorite influencers like Marie Denee of The Curvy Fashionista & A’Shontay Hubbard, Fashion Designer & Creator of Christian Omeshun. I was able to share my thoughts and experiences about social media and being in this blogging world. But most importantly I was able to share more information about my Team Pretty Big Girls T-shirt line.
A'Shontay Hubbard, Me & Marie Denee
The panel was moderated by PlusSizeMePlz CEO Catherine Ashley. I had no doubt The Fluffy Girl Tribe would put on an amazing event and they did not disappoint. I arrived at the event and was greeted by a door host who checked me in. There were about 5 vendors situated around the room. The vendors ranged from plus size clothing by Thiq Boutique who offers sizes 12 to 32. to Wrap girl Magic, who got my business on the spot, her products were so dope. I just had too. Make sure to check her out.
The event started with a network hour to give attendees a chance to talk to each other and discuss their brands. I was able to meet the amazing Crystal of Society of Harlow who had some great information to share. Once the event was underway, Catherine Ashly introduced the panelists and shared a fact about each of them that the audience may not know. Being a panelist I was there to soak up as much knowledge as possible. Still being in my first year of blogging I wanted to hear what everyone else had to say and their experiences and I have to say I took a lot away from the stories others shared. Very informative. The audience seemed in tune and some people were even taking notes. The panelists shared various programs and software they used. There were great questions about entrepreneurship which seemed most prevalent in this conversation. We were given gift bags,there were also VIP swag bags for those guests as well. Overall the event was a huge success. Check out the other panelist below!
So with all that excitement surrounding me there was no reason for me not to be on cloud 9 until a few days later ... while at work I received a call from my identical twin and our sister/friend asking me to go look at the Facebook page of one of our closest friends. I asked what was going on ... what is the issue ... I was just texting him. They let me know people were starting to post "Rest in Peace Charles" I said NO! This can't be, we were just texting. So I logged on to Facebook to see his page and I see the wall post full of condolences and prayers being sent to the family. I immediately leave a comment for his family to tell me what's going on. We have been friends over 20 years so they know exactly who I am. About an hour later his sister contacted me via Facebook Messenger and let me know that he had indeed passed. I asked her to give me a call to explain this tragedy. She let me know he passed away from his long battle with sickle cell anemia.
I am truly heartbroken to know this happened to our group ... so imagine this if you guys never watched the show "Girlfriends". It's a group of four women and one male friend by the name of William. He has a friendship with all of the women in different capacities. They have equally valued individual friendships and the group forms a family like environment. This dynamic mirrors our group of friends. Naturally, Charles was our William and to know his physical being is no longer on earth just breaks my heart. We have shared so much death between our families from his dad passing, my mom passing to tragically losing one of his younger sisters to murder.
To know that I will never have a chance to talk to him again breaks my heart. His birthday was exactly 10 days from mine I remember all the times we would have Libra jokes for people. I remember Charles being the only person to see me leave for our Junior Prom, he was the one who picked me up, zipped up my dress and laced up my shoes even though I had a date lol ... Another story for another day ... but I remember all the arguments Charles and I used to have ... all the laughs we shared ... The Times he would call me a bully and all the times I would have to go back and apologize to him because the group voted and I lost lol ! It saddens me to my core that at 31 years old I lost a friend that I've known for 20 plus years.
You would think with losing my Mother nine years ago I would handle death a little better but I do not. When I got this news at work I sat and cried for a good 30 minutes before going home. Death hits me the hardest when I am this far away from home. It hurts so much more knowing I am not there for my friends and for his family. When I spoke with his sister, surprisingly she was in high spirits ... She asked me where I lived now and insisted Charles would get me if I did not attend the funeral. It gave me some peace to hear that from her but it's hard to even write this blog.
I could not celebrate my 1st panel event in Atlanta like I thought I was going to knowing that I'll be going home (California) to mourn the loss of of my friend. I write this with a heavy heart not for sympathy but I write this to share a little about one of one of the best people in my life.
With the support of my girlfriend and my sister I have been able to get through this. I will say this about me, I do not typically share what I'm going through while I'm going through it. I have been like this for a really long time. Maybe since losing my mom I started to notice the behavior change. My favorite cousin gets really irritated that I do this. She preached great mental heath and encourages people to talk through pain and their issues, but death is hard to deal with even more since losing my Mom. I don't think that I would ever see death the same or understand it like I thought I would. When you lose a parent it takes a piece of you ... when you lose your number one fan and biggest supporter in the type of relationship that I shared with my mother ... you just don't see death the same way ... my heart always mourn for her and it will mourn for Charles ... I will do my best to live up to everything they both know I can be.
Dang I have to take a sec and I will really have to say rest in peace Charles it's a sad day.
I will close this blog by saying thank you again to The Fluffy Girl Tribe for giving me the opportunity to be part of this panel. I cannot thank you ladies for the great work that you all are doing. Your individual contributions to your group and to this plus size community is not going unnoticed. You ladies are truly Queens and beautiful. Congratulations on the success of your 1st event! You guys have a great future and I look forward to working with you again.