... 365 Days Later ...

So I had been going back and forth about discussing my relationship on my blog for a couple of reasons but after going through them all … ii said fuck it, im going to stay true to who ii am … Before I start let me warn you this bit get a little lengthy lol !! Being happy and in love is something to be celebrated and I just want to shout it to the world! But things between my girlfriend and I weren’t always this great! In this blog I am going to share our journey to how we got here now. If you have followed me on social since I moved to Atlanta then you have seen Amaris, my girlfriend before then you did not see her, I had a boyfriend … and now you see her all over my page ! I will break all of that down in the blog too. I will say this, I have always been a strong believer in “What’s for you, will be yours” & “Who is meant to be your forever, will find you” now I can say … I am living proof! 

Amaris and I met at work at start of 2013. I am an out-going person, so I talk to everyone … When I walk into a room, I speak … “Hello Everyone” … So one day I seen her at the time clock and she had on the cutest glasses and I asked her … “oh them glasses are dope, where did you get them” She looked at me side-ways, so ii thought … I later found out it was just because her eyes were low if you get my drift lol … Responding with “Zenni dot com” I say “cool, I am going to check them out” … That say she was in my sights, but I wasn’t going to press the issue because I was in a whole relationship and I would never disrespect him like that. I did think, I wonder if she single … She wasn’t … LoL … As we continued to work together, she would complement me … “oh you look nice today” “Oh ii know babe, ii put it on today … ii don’t wear clothes to look ugly, lol” “Girl, why can’t you just say thank you? You won’t be getting my compliments anymore”

We began a friendship, a closeness, like a real home girl … Me not being from here, I wanted friends and every girl NEEDS at least a friend, you a lie if you say you don’t … We talked almost every day at work literally ALL day. About our relationships, life, goals, opinions, TV and everything else under the sun … We became really close … Amaris has never been with a fat girl before, her exes are “thick” so I instantly put her in a category because I am no “test run” I have been that way a long time .. So she was really in the Friend Zone & again we were in relationships … Fast forward to Thanksgiving 2013 … I was enjoying the single life by this time and enjoying the company of others as all … I cooked my very first Thanksgiving meal all by myself and I was so proud so I invited a few friends over for a “Friends Giving” and she was one of them, this was the first time us getting together outside of work, she came got a plate, talked mess about the dude that I was entertaining at the time … Her and my other home girl Lauren, I mean they thrashed his outfit, his responses hahhaha I am not surprised he did not call me back but I was glad they did that because I was surprised by his answers as well. Both of my friends left, I sat with him and he asked me, “does your friend with the dreads like you, is she gay?” “she’s in a relationship, she doesn’t want me” “every time you got up, she was looking at your butt, she might want you” Didn’t pay any mind to that because they had talked sooooo much shiii about him, I felt he was trying to deflect the attention so I brushed it off …

Fast Froward again to My Annual Christmas Eve house party in 2013, I invited about 60 people, we had about 35 show up … Amaris was one of them … One this night we shared our first kiss … it was magical … it was Nothing Less than Amazing and it was felt by the both of us … She opened up to me and told me she had never been kissed like that and I was the best kisser to date … The alcohol was flowing so this was not something we would continue … She went home to her girlfriend and I continued to enjoy the party … That day weather we want to admit it or not it changed us forever … it changed the make-up of the friendship … Of course that was not the last time we kissed … it actually continued and we made out every chance we had … maybe two times a week type thing … ii believe in Karma so I knew I was going to pay for kissing someone in a relationship. *slaps forehead* but we continued. Now at that time Amaris was not happy at home and she was itching for some attention, I would encourage her to just talk to her girl and shii might change … you never know until you say something … but at that point she was already fed up and she REALLLYYY wanted some sex and I damn sure wasn’t going to mess around with her … Kissing was the limit and ii use to feel sooooo bad about that shiii … like hella bad, ii would not want a girl doing that to me … but the chemistry was electric ii couldn’t deny it … but no way was I taking it all the way while she was in a relationship … Unhappy or not, we were already way too close for her not to be single … So true Amaris fashion and being 1/2 of the SB Click (we made that up cuz we both have slutty tendencies so the Slut Bucket Click we were hehe) she was itching for “something new” or “exciting” and she was set up by another “gay” girl at work who was just being messy … Our bond and friendship became evident at work and people would assume we were doing shiii … So this girl set her up with a str8 girl going back and forth between the two saying “oh she wants to talk to you” and then making them think the other one wants to talk to the other but in reality neither one of them did such a thing … Now, that same girl tried to “get at me” … Mind you ii had no idea that girl was doing that to Amaris and “the str8 girl” you see how that got messy? Well it got messier … Amaris continued to talk to the straight girl who was engaged at the time and of course she wasn’t turning down any free nookie, lol no one is and I wasn’t giving her none for sure …

So as her and this girl got closer it worked for them because they both had situations at home and no strings attached would work for the both of them … Well the girl of course asked about the relationship Amaris had with me and she simply told her that’s my friend, she really like my bestfriend … So this girl who is in a whole ass relationship stalks my IG and screenshots different comments left on some of my pictures and then sends it to Amaris “Checking her” and of course Amaris tells me … and ii tell her find out who is stalking my page so ii can just block them so we don’t have to deal with this we not gonna stop being friends and that girl is EWWWW so im not worried about shiii lol … cuz again this is my potna … my homegirl … ii am not mad she is trying to get her rocks off … like girl get yours … but the straight girl and her friend that tried to get at me were doing the absolute most ! like the most !!! ii wanted Amaris to check them both especially the one she was messing around with … like Amaris, “Remind this biii that you got a girl at home and what you do with other people is your business and ii am not going to do this at work … ii be damned if ii have them looking at me crazy because you don’t want to tell her how close we are because you want to get your rocks off” Well she didn’t and baby let me tell you … ii stepped off … I told her flat out … Naw, we won’t be friends … that aint what “bestfriends” do and ii am hella loyal and if your loyalty depends on circumstances of a situation then you really don’t fuck with me like that … so ii stop talking to her in May/June of 2014 … That was it … It was a long Summer of seeing her everyday but not talking … it literally went from talking all day every day to nothing … not even making eye contact … I am not the type of person to cut someone off and play mind games … like no, girl you were just my friend … there isn’t anything to pay attention to or entertain …

By that September we had reunited on same random shiii … She had broken up with her g/f, had her own apt and was ready to enjoy being single after being in a 5 year relationship … So we enjoyed ourselves to say the least … We were total SBs lol, with one another and separately … We were sharing the relationship side of shii together but still being single with other people and not even realizing it … We would lay up all day and Netflix … Go to movies, long emotional girl talks all kinds of random shii … Just enjoy being around one another … But again neither one of us thought of a relationship … I just knew one of these dudes on my line saying they want a relationship was going to make it to the finish line … but no they didn’t … and for her she was just enjoying life … We celebrated my birthday in 2014 and my twin says I ruined her b-day that year because I was so wrapped up in Amaris and again I did not notice it … I was just enjoying my bday. Looking back we were fully engulfed in one another, but I made the birthday up to my sister lol … It was a great birthday and she made it that much better … We rocked out for a while … She got me flowers and decorated my desk at work for Valentine’s Day 2015 and I was so surprised … Yet, still maintaining we are friends … By April/May of that year she began to talk to a girl that she really started to like … and she was so excited about the possibilities of what they could be … That July Amaris and I took a road trip to see my sister in Louisiana for a 4th of July party and she was different … She wasn’t talking to me as much and she would leave the room to talk on the phone it got really weird and I have been here with male friends before … Once they get a girlfriend they are not usually comfortable with them having a female friend, it’s a lot worse with girls … So as my friend changed due to her perusing a possible new relationship it changed us drastically and I was caught off guard … I had no idea her new love interest was uncomfortable with our friendship and that it’s not easy to get use too … but our friendship got so strained we weren’t talking everyday … we had very surface conversations … this lasted about 4 months … and one day ii was being overly emotional and in my feelings and ii just didn’t want to lose my friend, ii didn’t want to lose everything we had … Cuz now we have been free to do what we want for the last 6 months … and ii sent an impulsive message, saying basically … “ii want to be with you … don’t choose her” “I think we should take some time apart, this isn’t fair to anyone and why didn’t you say something before” I was in total shock ii had no idea, she would say that … ii never thought in a million years she would say let’s not be friends for a while … ii had to swallow my pride and keep it pushing … So about a week or so later I finally told my sister and she had already had her reservations about Amaris from the first situation we had … ii tell her what ii did and her response was: “Satrina! Do you really want to be with that girl … is that what you really want? So all the shiii u say she do that you don’t like, she just stop doing that shii … “No … ii don’t know … Ur right, no ii don’t want to be with her right now but ii think that is the only way we can keep us like we are” “Girl you are being selfish, you don’t want her but you don’t want anyone else to have her … That’s a joke and you are kidding yourself”

Long story short, my sister reminded me of all the shii Amaris was doing that had her in the friend zone anyway … you know how you messing with someone and you know they aint shii but yall cool and the sex is good so hell why not … ii know what’s up and ii have never been the girl that associates sex with emotions … They are different … So from that day forward we did not speak for an entire year … I had to respect her relationship and above all I wanted my friend to be happy and if she made her happy I was okay with that outcome because what we did share was okay and I know some people are temporary … So for the next month I gathered my thoughts and focused on myself, my shirts and photography …

By Nov/Dec 2015 I started talking to a man who was determined to make me his g/f … He just knew ii was the one for him … He didn’t hold back to show me that he wanted me around … Im talking Roof Top dates, flowers to my job for no reason, leaving money in my panty drawer … He literally gave me what every girl post about on IG and it was nice for a while and finally by Jan 2016 he was like … Okay so what you my g/f or not … Like what’s up … I was like … yea why not … By month 3 he was crazy! Like controlling … like over the top … Worried about the wrong shii … He brought me some really pretty flowers to my job and said “bet them hoes at work gonna be jealous” my reaction is why are you worried about what hoes think … you brought these so bitches at work can be jealous of me … TF kind of shii is this ? you get me flowers because you are thinking about me not because other people will be envious … that’s crazy … so I explained to him, my love language is “Act of Service” which means … roses are nice but what really gets to my heart is doing something that makes me life easier … example; roses are expensive, especially when delivered … so instead of flowers all the time, I’d rather you pay my car insurance or my phone bill … Take care of one of my obligations so I don’t have too … Materialistic things get me but not all the time … I tried to have that conversation with him and it was like talking to a wall. He did not get it … His love language was “affection” and I am very touchy feely but he would need attention all the time and it was annoying. Example, we are watching the NBA play offs and he wants to be rubbed one and petted and im like standing up in front of the TV, yelling at the refs and glued to the TV, while he says come lay on the bed … NO! I am watching the game, let’s just chill …

By month 6 it did not get any better and I had some decisions to make ... Not to mention my sister did not like him and she let him know every chance she got lol … So on July 31st I decided to break up with him … The longer I waited the worse it would get and what was I waiting for, I knew we weren’t meant to be … So he got off work came by and I told him we needed to talk and when he walked in I just said it … “I think we should break up” He was pissed and started to rant … He told me he hated me and that I wasted his time and that he wish he never met me … Fair enough, I will take that and I let him be … Little did ii know Amaris was having issues in her relationship and was unhappy … She decided to leave her relationship that very same day … Remember we had not talked since August of 2015 … Yes, we saw one another at work but after a while it became normal not to talk to her and ii just eventually started to ignore her existence so by July 2016 she was the furthest thing from my thoughts … She sent me a message at work, asking if we could talk and I said sure, match one … At this point, ii was just thinking we can be friends and not kissing friends real home girls … we haven’t done anything in a year so we could possibly be friends since I felt it was 80% my fault as to why we weren’t friends … So the least I could do was hear her out … We finally got a chance to meet up on August 15 2016 and she came by my house and she was just like “I want my friend back, not sure how it is going to look but I know I need you in my life” “For what, what do you want from me?” “I don’t know but I know whatever you give me I will take” We spent the next 4 nights literally talking all night! From around 7pm until almost 5am and we both would have to be at work … After a week of that, we fell asleep on my couch and woke kissing one another good morning … It felt right, it was almost like we didn’t spend an entire year a part and this is where we should have been the whole time … It almost felt fake, like some shii out of a movie … So at that point we started talking relationship … We knew it was something between us and we had to start listening to the people around us and they might have a point … So we kicked it hella touch for the next couple months … She got me an amazing bday gift … She got me tickets to the 49ers vs Falcons game which was in Dec and it meant everything to me … I am BIIIIGGG on sports … Like love sports lol … Nov 11 (11.11) We officially became girlfriends and ii couldn’t be happier … Everything we have been through … Them wack bitches at work, our other relationships and miscommunications couldn’t keep us apart … When we realized we both left our previous relationships on the very same day we both had a moment of realization like you were meant for me … Everything ii learned from my last relationship was supposed to happen ... Everything happened like the universe wanted it too … I learned so much from my last relationship and it helps me to be a better girlfriend to Amaris and I believe the same goes for her … We would have to tell her side one day on the blog lol … But I would not change our journey for anything in the world … So July 31st will be a date we will always remember … The past 8 months have been the most amazing time in my life … Not only for us but for my business too … She encourages me, challenges me, she stimulates my soul & respects me like the Queen I am … There is nothing in the world I would not do for her … and recently she asked me for Forever and I am damn sure going to give it to her … The world is at her feet ….

She is my friend, my girlfriend, my full body picture taker, my hype man, my number #1, my consoler, my financial advisor, my homegirl, my petty betty … She is my FOREVER ! Until next time Loviies -Tree 


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